Advanced Jokes / İleri Seviye Fıkralar

A Good Excuse? / İyi Bir Özür Mü?

A Game on an Airplane / Uçakta Oyun

A Quick Thinker / Hızlı Bir Düşünür

Three Engineers / Üç Mühendis

The General's Dog / Generalin Köpeği

Engineers vs. Managers / Mühendisler Ve Yöneticiler

Welcome to Wife Mart! / Eş Çarşısına Hoşgeldiniz

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A Good Excuse? / İyi Bir Özür Mü?

"A Good Excuse?" 

This joke is about a man in New York City who gives an excuse to his boss because he is late to work again. He tells a long story with many details. Sometimes, more details make a story sound more realistic. Do you think this story is realistic? What part is the MOST unrealistic in your opinion?

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked (1) sarcastically. "Let's hear a good (2) excuse for a change." Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. (3) The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then (4) the drawbridge got (5) stuck. (6) Rather than let you down, I (7) swam across the river. Look, my suit's still (8) damp. I ran out to the airport, got a ride on (9) Donald Trump's (10) helicopter, landed on top of (11) Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here (12) piggyback by one of (13) the Rockettes." "You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously (14) disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes."

(1) in a critical way - he is suggesting that Jones always gives bad reasons for being late (2) a reason for doing something wrong (3) he could say "my wife" but we often do say "the wife" to refer to our own wife (4) a bridge that rises to let boats go under (but cars on the bridge must stop) (5) it could not move (6) instead of (7) past of "swim" (8) a little bit wet (you can feel the water) (9) a famous, and rich, businessman in New York (10) it's like an airplane but it goes straight up and has a big propeller (like a wing) on the top that goes around (11) a famous place for listening to music or watching live shows in New York City (12) one person is carried on another person's back (13) a very famous group of dancers (14) he thinks it's not a good story

Explanation: So, of all the unbelievable things Mr. Jones described, the fact that his wife got ready in only ten minutes seems the most unbelievable to the boss. Well, now that I think about it, it may be true! What do you think? 

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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A Game on an Airplane / Uçakta Oyun

"A Game on an Airplane" 

This joke is about a simple gambling game. Only one person, however, really wants to play the game. The Engineer in this story comes up with a clever way to stop the game and win some money at the same time. Enjoy!

(1) A Programmer and an Engineer were sitting next to each other on an airplane. The Programmer (2) leaned over to the Engineer and asked if he wanted to play a fun game. The Engineer just wanted to sleep so he politely (3) declined, turned away and tried to sleep. The Programmer (4) persisted and explained that it's a (5) real easy game. He explained,"I ask a question and if you don't know the answer you pay me $5. Then you ask a question and if I don't know the answer I'll pay you $5." Again the Engineer politely declined and tried to sleep. The Programmer, now somewhat (6) agitated, said, "O.K., if you don't know the answer you pay me $5 and if I don't know the answer I pay you $50! " Now, that got the Engineer's attention, so he agreed to the game. The Programmer asked the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The Engineer didn't say a word and just (7) handed the Programmer $5. Next it was the Engineer's turn. He asked the Programmer,"What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down on four?" The Programmer looked at him with (8) a puzzled look, took out his laptop computer, looked through all his (9) references and after about an hour (10) woke the Engineer and handed the Engineer $50. The Engineer politely took the $50 then turned away and tried to return to sleep. The Programmer, a little (11) miffed, asked, "Well what's the answer to the question?" (12) Without a word, the Engineer reached into his wallet, handed $5 to the Programmer, turned away and returned to sleep.

(1) a computer programmer, someone who makes the software that lets us do things with computers (2) he moved his body to the side, closer to the Engineer (3) he said "no", he refused (4) he continued, he would not stop (5) we should say "really easy" but we often say "real easy" even though it is not correct! (6) bothered a little (7) gave (from his hand to the other person's hand) (8) his face looked like he was confused or unsure (9) books or other materials with lots of information (10) past of "wake" (he made him wake up) (11) a little angry (12) silently, without speaking

Explanation: Even though the Engineer failed twice, he only had to pay a total of $10, but he got $50 for the one impossible question he asked of the Programmer. He earned $40 AND he was finally able to get some sleep. Do you think the Programmer is happy that he "won" the game? (The Engineer failed two times but he only failed once.) 

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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A Quick Thinker / Hızlı Bir Düşünür

"A Quick Thinker" 

This joke is about a young man who gets himself into trouble but can always get himself out of trouble by thinking fast. Enjoy!

There was a boy who worked in (1) the produce section of a super market. A man came in and asked to buy half (2) a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, only half. The boy explained that he would have to ask the manager and so he walked into the stock room and said, "There is (3) some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he finished saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he quickly added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half." The manager (4) okayed the request and the man (5) went on his way. Later on the manager said to the boy, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got out of it. You (6) think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from, son?" The boy replied, (7) "Minnesota, sir." "Oh, really? Why did you leave Minnesota?" (8) inquired the manager. The boy replied, "They're all just (9) whores and hockey players up there." "My wife is from Minnesota", (10) exclaimed the manager. The boy instantly replied, "Really! What team did she play for?"

(1) the part of a supermarket that sells fresh vegetables and fruits (2) one round "piece" of lettuce (it looks like a head, doesn't it?) (3) a stupid man ("some" suggests that he is not important) (4) "ok" is made into a verb by some people - he said "ok" (5) went out (6) think quickly (7) a very cold state in the north of the U.S. (8) asked (9) prostitutes (women who sell their bodies for money) (10) said loudly

Explanation: The boss saw him get out of trouble once but then the young man insulted all women of his home state of Minnesota. Of course he just assumed the boss' wife played hockey because she could not be one of those bad women who sell themselves. Do you think the boss believed him?  

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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Three Engineers / Üç Mühendis

"Three Engineers" 

This joke makes fun of Windows and the people who make Windows. Enjoy!

There were three engineers in a car. One was (1) an electrical engineer, one was (2) a chemical engineer and one was a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stopped by the side of the road, and the three engineers looked at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggested (3) stripping down the electronics of the car and trying (4) to trace where a fault might have (5) occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggested that maybe (6) the fuel was getting (7) blocked somewhere. Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, came up with a suggestion, (8) “Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work!”

(1) an expert in electricity and electrical systems (2) an expert in chemicals and chemical reactions (3) to uncover and open it up so we can see inside (4) to follow (5) happened (6) energy (for a car, gasoline is the fuel) (7) stopped (8) a way to make a suggestion (another way is "how about if we...")

Explanation: His idea sometimes work with Windows on a computer, but can it work with a car? This particular engineer is "overgeneralizing" - he is using his own narrow experience to try to understand problems in a very different situation. 

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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The General's Dog / Generalin Köpeği

"The General's Dog" 

This joke is about an ordinary soldier talking to a General. He tried to be careful with his words, but he slipped up (he made a mistake) at the end. Enjoy!

It was a dark, (1) stormy, night. The soldier was on his first (2) assignment, and it was (3) guard duty. A (4) General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The (5) nervous young (6) Private jumped to (7) attention, made a perfect (8) salute, and (9) snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!" The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said "Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?" Well, it wasn't a nice night, but the Private (10) wasn't going to disagree with the General, so he saluted again and replied "Sir, Yes Sir!". The General continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find (11) soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?" The Private didn't agree, but then the private was just a private, and responded "Sir, Yes Sir!" The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog (12) to train." The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said "Sir, Yes Sir!" The General continued "I got this dog for my wife." The Private simply said "Good (13) trade Sir!"

(1) with lots of rain and maybe lightning and thunder (2) a job (3) he had to stand outside all night to watch for trouble (4) the top person in an army (5) worried, a little bit afraid (6) the lowest person in an army, an ordinary soldier (7) standing straight and tall, ready for anything (8) a sign with his hand held up to his forehead (9) spoke loudly and clearly (10) he had to agree! (11) make him feel calm (12) to teach (13) an exchange

Explanation: When the General said "I got this dog for my wife", the soldier thought the General got rid of his wife (he gave his wife to somebody else) and got the dog in exchange! The soldier is saying this as a compliment, as something good - the General is very smart to trade his wife for such a beautiful dog! Do you think the General would agree or disagree with the soldier??? 

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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Engineers vs. Managers / Mühendisler Ve Yöneticiler

"Engineers vs. Managers" 

This joke shows the weak points of both engineers and managers. I think the engineer wins in the end! Enjoy the story...

A man is flying in (1) a hot air balloon and (2) realizes he is lost. He (3) reduces his (4) altitude and (5) spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man below says: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, (6) hovering (7) approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north (8) latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees west (9) longitude." "You (10) must be an engineer" says the balloonist. "I am" replies the man. "How did you know." "Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea (11) what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost." The man below says "You must be a manager." "I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you (12) expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow (13) my fault."

(1) a big balloon full of hot gas that flies - people can stand in a basket tied to the balloon (2) understands (3) makes smaller or lower (4) height (how high the balloon is) (5) sees (6) hanging in the air without moving (7) about, not exactly (8) how far north or south (9) how far east or west (10) he has a reason to think that (11) how to understand or how to use (12) wait for me (13) because of my mistake (even if he made no mistake!)

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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Welcome to Wife Mart! / Eş Çarşısına Hoşgeldiniz

"Welcome to Wife Mart!" 

This is a joke about a difficult choice. Imagine a store where a man can buy a wife! In the end, it makes fun of men...

A store that sells wives opened where a man may go to choose a wife from among many women. The store has six floors, and the women increase in (1) positive attributes as the shopper (2) ascends. There is however, (3) a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a wife from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down, except (4) to exit the building. No stopping on any lower floors. A man went to the shopping center one day to find a wife. On the first floor, the women have jobs. The man read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than my last girlfriend, but I (5) wonder what's further up?" So, up he went. On the second floor, the women have jobs, love sports, and drink beer. The man smiled to himself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" The third floor has women who have jobs, love sports, drink beer, and are extremely good-looking. "Hm, better!" he said. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" The fourth floor has women who have jobs, love sports, drink beer, are extremely good-looking and do all the housework. "Wow!" (6) exclaimed the man, "Very (7) tempting. But there must be more, much more, further up!" He (8) headed up another (9) flight. On the fifth floor, the women have jobs, love sports, drink beer, are extremely good-looking, do all the housework and don't complain or (10) nag about anything. "(11) Hot damn! How close to perfect can you get?" the man said. "But just think what must be (12) awaiting me on the final floor." So, up to the sixth floor he went. The sixth floor has a sign that reads: You are visitor 133,956,779 to this floor. There are no women on this floor. This floor exists (13) solely as (14) proof that men are impossible (15) to please. Thank you for shopping Wife Mart, and have a nice day.

(1) good things they have or do (2) goes up (3) a limit or a small problem (4) to go out (5) to think (6) to say loudly or with excitement (7) it makes him want to try (8) to start to go up (9) one set of stairs (10) ask her husband many times to do many things (11) this expression shows excitement (12) waiting for (13) only (14) showing that something is true (15) to make and keep happy

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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Medium Jokes / Orta Seviye Fıkralar

The Big Sale / Büyük İndirim

An Accident / Bir Kaza

Do Women Talk More? / Kadınlar Daha Fazla Konuşabilir mi?

High in the Sky / Gökyüzünde Yükselmek

Choosing a bathing suit / Mayo Seçimi

The pieces of a puzzle / Bir Yapbozun Parçaları

The Last Chicken / Son Tavuk

How Smart Are You? / Ne Kadar naziksiniz?

A Big Entrance / Büyük Bir Giriş

Over Niagara / Niagara'nın Ötesi

Blind as a Bat / Bir yarasa Olarak Kör

Pink Clouds / Pembe Bulutlar

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The Big Sale / Büyük İndirim

 

"The Big Sale"

This joke is about a big sale. Can you imagine all the eager customers waiting outside for the store to open early in the morning? What would happen if one person tries to "cut" to the front of the line? In this story, we'll find out. Enjoy!

It was the day of the big sale. (1) Rumors of the sale and some advertising in (2) the local paper were the main reason for the long line that formed (3) by 8:30 in the morning in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, (4) amid loud and (5) colorful curses. On the man's second (6) attempt, he was punched (7) square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line, (8) "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I don't open the damn store!"

(1) something people say, even if it's not true (but many people believe it's true) (2) a small newspaper (3) before that time (4) with loud voices all around ("mid" in "amid" means "in the middle") (5) bad language (6) try (7) directly on the part of his face below his mouth (8) "that's the end!"

Explanation: Only with the man's last sentence do we realize he is not cutting to the front of the line. He actually works there and he wants to unlock the door for the customers. (^v^)

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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An Accident / Bir Kaza

 

"An Accident"

This joke is an example of "black humor" with a violent ending, but it is funny because of the man's mistake. I hope you can understand his mistake and never do this yourself!

A couple of New Jersey (1) hunters were out in (2) the woods when one of them fell to the ground. He didn't seem to be breathing, his eyes were rolled back in his head. The other guy (3) whipped out his cell phone and called (4) the emergency services. He (5) gasped to (6) the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a (7) calm, soothing voice said: "Just (8) take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There was a silence, then a shot was heard. The guy's voice came back on the line. He said: "OK, (9) now what?"

(1) people who shoot at animals for sport (2) a place with many trees and animals (3) pulled out very quickly (4) part of a hospital that helps with sudden accidents or sudden illnesses (5) air came out of his mouth very quickly (6) the person who answers the telephone for the hospital (7) in a soft, peaceful voice (8) relax (9) "what should I do now?"

Explanation: The operator said "make sure he's dead", to see if maybe he was still alive. So, the operator should have asked him to check if the friend was still alive! We normally only hear "make sure he's dead" on TV or in the movies, when a killer's boss tells the killer to be sure. The man in this joke is not a killer, but he acts almost like a murderer (a killer) in this case. The influence of TV is a little bit scary! (But remember, it's just a joke, not a real story. Right?)

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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Do Women Talk More? / Kadınlar Daha Fazla Konuşabilir mi?

 

"Do Women Talk More?"

This joke shows a common problem between husbands and wives. Do you think this is true?

A husband had always been (1) disdainful of people who, (2) in his estimation, talk too much. Recently he proudly told his wife he'd heard that men use 2200 words a day, (3) while women use 4400. The wife (4) pondered that a moment, then (5) concluded, "That's because women have to repeat everything they say to their husbands." He looked up and asked, (6) "Come again?"

(1) he looked down on those people (2) in his opinion, in his point of view (3) at the same time (4) thought deeply (5) she came to her final thought (6) "could you repeat that?"

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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High in the Sky / Gökyüzünde Yükselmek

 

"High in the Sky"
 

This story uses the present tense which makes it seem like a "live" story, as if we are watching a movie or TV program. See if you can guess the surprise ending this time!

(1) The scene is a newspaper office. (2) The editor says to one of his reporters: "There's a fire (3) raging out of control west of town and I want you to get out there fast. And (4) above all, get some good (5) shots. If that means you have to (6) hire an airplane, just do it. Don't worry about (7) the expense." So, the reporter calls the airport and orders a plane. He (8) rushes out to the airport, (9) spots a small aircraft with a young pilot in it, pulls open the door, jumps in and says to the pilot: "Let's go, (10) take off". As directed, the pilot takes off, gets up to (11) altitude, and the reporter then tells him: "See that fire raging to the west? I want you to fly over that and get down as close as you can". (12) Incredulous, the pilot says: "You want me to fly over that fire?" "Sure, the reporter says, "I am a photojournalist and that's why I am here - to take (13) dramatic shots of the fire!" The pilot looks over with a (14) quizzical look on his face and says: "You're not (15) the flight instructor?"

(1) the situation, just like the opening scene of a movie (2) the person who makes decisions in a newspaper (3) "rage" = great anger, so a raging fire is burning wildly, as if it is very angry (4) the most important thing (5) photos (we "shoot" photographs) (6) pay money to rent a plane for a short time (7) the cost (8) hurries (9) sees (10) when an airplane leaves, it goes up into the air (11) high in the sky (12) unable to believe something (13) exciting photos (as in a "drama") (14) confused - he does not understand (15) someone who teaches people how to fly airplanes

Explanation: The reporter must have gotten in the wrong airplane! The pilot is just a student. He knew how to take off but does he know how to land the airplane (bring it back down) without a teacher? (*o*)

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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Choosing a bathing suit / Mayo Seçimi

 

"Choosing a bathing suit"

This joke teaches many things - how to choose a bathing suit, how to keep your wife happy, how to end a marriage. Enjoy!

A woman told this story: While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed (1) a display  of (2) bathing suits.   It had been at least ten years and (3) twenty pounds since I had even (4) considered   buying a bathing suit, so I (5) sought my husband's advice. 'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get (6) a bikini or an all-in-one?' 'Better get a bikini,' he replied.   'You'd never (7) get it all in one..' He's still in (8) intensive care.

(1) showing many clothes in a store (2) clothes we wear to go swimming (3) she weighed 20 pounds less (about 8 kilograms) ten years before (4) thought about (5) past of "seek" = to look for (6) a bathing suit with two pieces, for women (7) get her body into the bathing suit (8) a part of a hospital where very, very, VERY sick people stay

Explanation: Although she calmly described her situation, the woman must have been VERY unhappy with her husband's answer. The lesson is clear. Men, be careful when you give your wife advice!

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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The pieces of a puzzle / Bir Yapbozun Parçaları

 

"The pieces of a puzzle"

This joke is a "dumb blonde" joke. Many people believe that blonde-haired woman are prettier and more popular than women with dark hair. Does this mean they are also not as smart? Some people believe so, but maybe those people are just jealous - they want to be as popular as women with blonde hair! This joke makes fun of blonde women, even if it's not very fair. Enjoy!

A group of (1) blondes walk into a bar. One of the women tells (2) the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them. (3) The gals lift their glasses and (4) toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they (5) proceed to (6) down their drinks. Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks. The bartender says, (7) "I don't get it. (8) Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?" One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a (9) jigsaw puzzle. It had written on the box (10) '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!"

(1) women with yellow or "golden" hair (2) the person who makes drinks in a bar and serves customers (3) the women ("gal" is slang for "girl") (4) to make a cheer or a wish such as "Here's to your health" (5) to move forward or to continue (6) to drink, usually quickly (the drink goes down their throats) (7) "I don't understand" (8) "for what possible reason?" (9) a puzzle where a picture is cut into many pieces, then you have to put the pieces together again (10) it is for children aged 2 years to 4 years!

Explanation: Not only do the women misunderstand the phrase "2 to 4 years", it also seems they had difficulty putting the puzzle together. Fifty-one days is a looooooong time for a children's puzzle. (I used to do jigsaw puzzles with 3000 or 5000 pieces. Now THOSE took many weeks to finish.)

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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The Last Chicken / Son Tavuk

 

"The Last Chicken"

This joke is about a man who has a clever, but not very honest, idea. See how this gets him into trouble in the end. Enjoy!

(1) A butcher, who (2) had had a (3) particularly good day, proudly (4) flipped his last chicken on (5) a scale and weighed it. "That will be (6) £6.35," he told the customer. "That's a good price, but it really is a little too small," said the woman. "Don't you have anything larger?" (7) Hesitating, but thinking fast, the butcher returned the chicken to the (8) refrigerator, paused a moment, then took it out again. "This one," he said (9) faintly, " will be £6.65." The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision. (10) "I know what," she said, "I'll take both of them!"

(1) a man who cuts meat and sells it (2) this is the "past perfect tense" - he had a good day BEFORE this story happened (3) quite good (4) threw up onto the counter (5) a small tool that shows how heavy something is (6) you should read this as "six pounds, thirty-five pence" (7) he stopped for a very short time (8) a place to keep food cold (9) softly (10) "I know what I want to do"

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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How Smart Are You? / Ne Kadar naziksiniz?

 

"How Smart Are You?"

This joke shows two possible ways of being "smart" or "intelligent". It compares what you KNOW to what you CAN DO. Enjoy!

A man once had an old boat, which he used (1) to ferry people across the river. One day, he was taking a university professor to the other side. “What is (2) seven times seven?” asked the professor.   “I don’t know,” answered the man.     “Well, how do you (3) spell elephant?” asked the professor. “I (4) have no idea,” replied the man.   “Didn’t you study anything at school?” (5) demanded the professor, surprised.   “No,” said the man.   “Then you have (6) wasted half your life,” said the professor.  The man was silent for a little while. Then he said, “Can you swim?”  “No,” said the professor. “Then you have wasted ALL of your life. We are (7) sinking.”

(1) to go across a river and come back again   (2) 7 X 7 = 49   (3) to spell a word means "what letters do you use to write it" ("elephant" is spelled  e - l - e - p - h - a - n - t)   (4) I don't know   (5) to ask strongly   (6) to not use well   (7) going under water

So, in the end, who is smarter? The university professor who cannot swim or the simple man who can swim?

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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A Big Entrance / Büyük Bir Giriş

 

"A Big Entrance"

This is a short joke, but it has a lot of good, descriptive words that students should learn. It is about a woman who has just died. As with Medium Joke Two, this joke ends with "understatement" - just a simple sentence that makes us think about the woman.

The (1) graveside (2) service (3) just barely finished, when there was a tremendous (4) bolt of lightning, followed by (5) massive (6) clap of (7) thunder, (8) accompanied by  even more thunder (9) rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at (10) the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, (11) she's there.'

(1) next to where the woman was being put into the ground (2) a ceremony (usually called "a funeral") (3) very closely, only a few seconds ago (4) one big stroke of light from the sky during a storm (5) very, very big (6) a very loud noise (7) the noise that comes after lightning, during a storm (8) together with (9) a loud noise that continues (10) a priest who is leading the ceremony (11) she has arrived

Explanation: When we read about this kind of ceremony, we think of peace. The woman who passed away is finally "resting in peace" (RIP). At the end, we read about a little old man and imagine the woman was probably a little old woman. But then we are surprised when the little old man connects the lightning and thunder with his wife. From that one sentence, we can guess that she must have been a very tough woman - tough enough even to cause a storm in heaven!

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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Over Niagara / Niagara'nın Ötesi

 

"Over Niagara"

This story takes place near my hometown, in Niagara Falls, which is one of the largest water falls in the world. Enjoy!

After completing a highly dangerous (1) tightrope walk over Niagara Falls in terrible wind and rain, 'The Great Zumbrati' was met by an enthusiastic (2) supporter, who (3) urged him to make (4) a return trip, this time pushing (5) a wheelbarrow, which (6) the spectator had thoughtfully brought along. The Great Zumbrati was (7) reluctant, (8) given the terrible conditions, but the supporter (9) pressed him, "You can do it, I know you can," he urged. "Do you really believe I can do it?" asked Zumbrati. "Yes, definitely. You can do it!" the supporter (10) gushed. "Okay," said Zumbrati, "Get in the wheelbarrow..."

(1) a rope pulled tight enough to walk on (2) a person who cheers for him, who hopes for him to succeed (3) encouraged him (4) to go back to the other side (5) a tool with one wheel in front and two handles for a worker to carry (6) the watcher (in this case, the supporter) (7) not sure, slow to act (8) because of (9) pushed him (10) spoke quickly, his word like water "gushing" out

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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Blind as a Bat / Bir yarasa Olarak Kör

 

"Blind as a Bat"

Bats, which are black, furry animals that fly in the night, cannot see well. This joke is about two "vampire" bats who, according to stories, like to drink blood! In this story, one bat finds some blood, but he has some trouble. The joke uses "understatement" - the bat explains how he found blood, and his trouble, in a very simple way which leads to a surprise. Enjoy!

Two (1) vampire bats woke up in the middle of the night, (2) thirsty for (3) blood. One said, "Let's fly out of (4) the cave and get some blood." "We're new here," said the second one. "It's (5) dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us." The first bat replied, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." So, he (6) flew out of the cave. When he returned, he was (7) covered with blood. The second bat said excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?" The first bat took (8) his buddy to (9) the mouth of the cave. (10) Pointing into the night, he asked, "See that black building over there?" "Yes," the other bat answered. "Well," explained the first bat, "I didn't."

(1) bats that like to drink blood (2) they want to drink (3) the red stuff inside all people and animals (4) a big hole in a mountain, where many bats live (5) it was night time, so there was no light (6) past of "fly" (7) he had blood all over his body and all over his head (8) his friend (9) the entrance (10) showing the way with his finger (or for a bat, with his wing!)

The bat must be in pain, but he explains so calmly. That makes the ending a surprise, which makes it funny.

Not : *** Sizden gelecek talepler doğrultusunda çeviri yapılacaktır. Lütfen talebinizi fıkranın hemen altındaki yorum kutusundan bize iletiniz. Thanks

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